Sunday, 4 June 2017

I'm still learning

It's 2a.m. now,
literally the time when I come across my emotional.
Not exactly a sentimental one, but just purely emotional.
I think A LOT, that's my weakest point. 
I just couldn't help.

I've written a resignation letter, 
which I've talked about it in the previous post.
It is still in my desktop, never touch it since then.
I know, my guts is a total joke. lol
Every time when I turn my laptop on it'll just be there right away. 
It was a tough decision for me to do it guys,
Money tbh, money is the thing.

Because of money,
I was forced to drop out from college. 
I flew from east to west for work.
I was chained by a 9.5hrs night shift job.
and I became a realist who never talk about dream anymore.

It's all started about 10 years ago
my family basically lost almost everything,
we went from a pretty wealthy family to having nothing.
One thing we were very lucky was that we still able to save our house.
There was where I realised money plays a big role in my life.
It can uplift me nicely and slap me down perfectly. 
I've experienced once, those time were the biggest nightmare of mine.

I don't know.
I think I was doing good so far.
But thing doesn't seems to be "healthy" living that way. lol
I don't feel myself anymore, everything is so out.
I told my parent that I'll be quitting my job soon,
and I'm going to pursue my dream.
they're unexpectedly happy with the decision that I made. 

They said:
"sometimes money plays a big role in your life, 
but you're the director who decides the main character. "


Everyday is a learning day for me, 
I'm giving myself chances to make the changes,
along with the experiences I've learnt these years.
Now, learn to move on,
care more towards feeling and care less towards numbers,
have my daily life well scheduled after quitting,
hence it won't get so messy after I become jobless.

40 days more.
Let's see.


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